The girl in this photo had just turned 24. That was 12 months ago. So I wanted to write her a letter, about everything that would come after she blew out those candles. About the year that would be. The good, the bad and everything in-between.
January is raw. It starts with the sharp pain of your first heartbreak, the kind that cracks you open and changes you completely, irreversibly. It wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming, but far out, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It’s okay though, because you’ll make it through and you’ll realise you were a lot stronger than you thought.
The lesson learned? Don’t date anyone who you think will make you cry on your birthday. Life can be so, so much better than that. But only if you let it.
February will come and go. You’ll drink way too much wine because you haven’t realised you’re allergic to it yet. You’ll have a memorable Valentine’s Day and be truly touched by the gesture of your friend officially naming a cockroach in your ex’s honour as a fundraiser. Petty, but fantastically funny and cathartic at the time. Especially when both the money and the cockroach go to a good, hungry cause.
In March you’ll start to feel lighter. You’ll explore some new places with your best mates on a holiday that you’ll remember fondly for a long, long time. This is one of those holidays where you’ll close your eyes and try to freeze time, because you know these are the moments you’ll look back on and wish they could last forever.
April brings with it a new challenge at work. You’ll be forced into spaces you didn’t know you could hold and you’ll learn to sink or swim, fast. You’ll hit the ground running, but you’ll love every minute of the chaos. It’s the distraction you need, and the challenge you’ve been craving. It’s funny how you’ve got no choice but to step up when someone takes the bottom step away.
May is month of tough goodbyes. You’ll say goodbye to your best friend, both your cats and your flat all in the same week. It’s a time of complete and utter upheaval. As your friend packs up her life and spreads her wings you’ll feel every emotion in the book. You’ll be so unbelievably happy and proud of her but heavy with sadness at the same time. Up until this point the two of you have been joined at the hip for the last 13 years, a constant reflection of each other. Driving your two cats to the airport will be a day you don’t ever wish to repeat, but you’ll learn a lot about sacrifice. Arriving at the end of an era is always going to be a mixed bag.
June is a period of transition and solitude. You’ll learn how to stand on your own two feet, all while the silence is really fucking loud. It’ll be a confronting experience riddled with uncertainty, but something you’ll later look back on as a key turning point in learning to enjoy your own company.
You’ll also fall back in love with reading. You’ll remember how it brings you so much peace and is the only thing that can quiet your mind when it’s running rampant.
July is a month of moving and settling. You’ll shift into a beautiful new apartment, with the helping hands of some wonderful friends. This is a place where you’ll share many laughs, make new memories and eat so, so much pizza.
August is a month of firsts. You’ll watch your childhood friend get married to the love of her life and you’ll be right by her side. In amongst all the joy, you’ll find yourself caught in nostalgia, wondering when you all grew up so suddenly, where the days went that felt like they’d stretch forever. You’ll also ditch the skis and learn to snowboard for the first time – a somewhat humbling experience. This will remind you how important it is to keep learning new things and putting yourself in uncomfortable spaces.
September brings clarity. A trip home usually has that effect. All at once you’ll realise what you need to do, and you’ll start to set it in motion by purchasing a one-way ticket to the other side of the world. Timing is everything, you’ll know this pretty well by now. You can bet we’re counting down the days.
October is a month of gratitude for friends. There are times where you’ll just pinch yourself and wonder how you got so lucky to meet such wonderful people. The kind of people that wrap you in their warmth and kindness and make you question how this city didn’t ever feel like home. It’s truly something.
November is a month of feeling strong. You’ll realise how much you’ve come to enjoy your own company. Your thoughts are no longer something you want to hide from, but rather something you’re quite happy to sit with. You’ll also join a group fitness gym and start to become one of those culty people that raves about it to anyone that’ll listen, seriously.
December. We’re up to speed now.
I can’t tell you what happens from here on out. But it’s your birthday and you’re surrounded by people you love, looking back on the year that was. The only tears this year are happy ones, and we’ll allow those.
I have a sneaking suspicion that 25 is where it’s about to get really, really good.
Until 26,
Eva x
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