You know that feeling when life is moving so fast and in so many different directions you can’t catch a breath? When everything you knew to be true yesterday, is so up in the air? When it feels like your mind has a million tabs open but it’s frozen in place, paralysed by indecision and overwhelm?
Me too.
Life is hectic at times. And then it’s not. And then it is. But of course that’s what makes it colourful and interesting. Just as without sadness we wouldn’t appreciate the sunshine on our backs, without chaos there cannot be a sense of calm.
The trick is finding the calm, and making space for it. I find my calm in self-reflection and writing, which led me to write a manual on exactly that - how to find the calm.
Take a moment and evaluate
What is it that’s overwhelming you? Write it down. Is any of it in your control? This will help you decide what is and what isn’t worth worrying about. What you’ll realise is that there is very little in life you can control, other than your own response.
The good news? Response is everything.
Make a cup of tea
This one is pretty high up because there are not many things in life that cannot be made at least slightly better with a cup of tea. I’m not claiming it’ll solve the world’s problems, but you’re certainly not going to be any worse off.
Notice the little things
The hum of your monitor. The smell of your tea. The warmth of the steam on your face when you bring it up close. The feeling of your feet on the ground, bound by gravity.
Breathe
Take a really deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Repeat this 3 times. I know this one is a bit cliché because you’ll hear it from every self-helping man and his dog. But, believe it or not, that’s because there is something to it. So much so, someone wrote an entire book on it.
Find an animal, and give it a cuddle
This one is fairly self-explanatory. It doesn’t even have to be yours. The neighbour’s cat will do.
Take stock
You’re alive. Your heart is beating. You’re here in this moment. There are people that love you. You have a life that is good. That is all you need to know for now, so let it be enough.
Sit with it
You need to feel the uncomfortable things, because they’re there to be felt. If you can’t swallow the hard pills, you’ll choke on them. You see, mindfulness isn’t all about meditation and intuitive eating, you’ve got to notice the other stuff as well. The shitty days. The missed buses. The embarrassments. The let downs. The heartbreak. The burnt toast. The rain.
By training yourself to do this, you open your capacity to really feel the good stuff for all that it’s worth. Dogs at the beach. The sunshine on your back. The laughs with friends. First kisses. Cool swimming pools. Fresh sheets. Chocolate chips. Sleep ins.
Sit with it. Because all of it, every last piece of detail, adds up to where you are right now. You are alive and you are breathing. And what a humbling thing that is.
Put pen to paper
When I feel lost or disconnected from myself, journaling is how I find my way back home. No matter how confused or overwhelmed you are, there is nothing like putting pen to paper. In the act of writing things exactly as you think them, not getting caught up in articulating it perfectly, it can be strangely therapeutic. You don’t need to be a writer, the key thing is that the words you write will never be wrong. The paper won’t jump back at you and tell you you’re being mean, or that you’re overthinking it or that what you’re writing doesn’t make sense. This is for your eyes only, so go crazy. You can put your worst thoughts down on paper, and no one ever need know. There is a lot freedom in that.
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The reality is, we all get lost in the madness from time to time, the trick is not to let it derail or define you. You’ve got more control than you think, you’ve just got to take a step back and claim it.
Thoughts are powerful things. To be used wisely, and never underestimated.
Eva x
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