The other day I was talking to a colleague at work who told me she recently unearthed a time capsule she’d buried when she was 16. It’d been 20 years and a couple of bathroom renovations that had bought it to the surface, albeit several decades too soon. She’d written down some things to her future self, mainly questions. Newspaper clippings. The current price of petrol. Musings about the future. And of course a lot of ‘silly 16-year old things’, she said. But nothing seems silly at the time, not when you are experiencing those things for the first time, in full colour. It got me thinking how much I’d love to have something to look back on. I don't have any floorboards of my own, and I’m not sure my landlord would be impressed, so I’m settling for my own little corner of the internet instead and a reflective time capsule, somewhat in reverse.
So here they are, in no particular order. All (some of) the things I know at the grand old age of 23. I’m aware of the irony, that’s part of the point I think.
Hard work will get you further than you ever could have imagined.
You’ve just got to keep your head down and ignore the bullshit. Because there will definitely be bullshit and things that stand in the way. But there will also be lots really nice rewards and moments to stop and enjoy the view.
Age is just a number.
This applies to pretty much everything, take it as you will.
Friends will become your family away from home.
They will be the tonic for just about everything. Platonic love is not something to be underestimated. The worst thing you can do is take it for granted.
Cats are still the best thing ever.
They will provide many laughs and will make you so, so happy. It’s easy to feel deflated on those days when the world is heavy and hard, but then knowing you get to come home to two furry creatures who love you unconditionally - it makes everything just a little bit better.
Relationships are not linear.
And wouldn't it be boring if they were? This applies to every relationship in your life. As much as we love black and white, often things are not so cut and dry. Accepting this will give you more empathy.
Know when to apologise…and when not to.
An apology is an admission of guilt. To be used sparingly, but also absolutely always where needed.
Same goes for excessive exclamation marks in emails!
You will struggle with this for time to come! Enthusiasm is one thing, but it shouldn't come at the cost of being taken seriously :)
Nothing great happens in your comfort zone.
Truly. Maybe good things. But not great things. The uncomfortable stuff is where the growth happens. Going on a big trip to the other side of the world and not knowing a soul will be the best time ever and something you look back on for years to come.
You’ll have some great moments, but not all will be marked by a glittering ceremony, a new contract or a place in the pool room.
It’ll be laughing hysterically on a random Tuesday night in the kitchen with your best friend. It’ll be the Sunday sleep-ins covered in cats. Or the moment a song captures a feeling or experience you thought couldn’t be put into words. Those moments are the ones you want to hold on to, just because they aren’t scarce doesn’t make them any less wonderful or important.
Sad music is great, but not when you’re actually sad.
When you’re actually sad, you’ll be listening to club music at the gym. The kind you usually hate, but will make an exception for.
On that note, exercise is the only way you know how to breathe.
Whenever you’re feeling less than tip top, you’ll find yourself at the gym sweating it out. As far as vices go, you got lucky here.
You’ll learn to trust your gut.
Case in point - you’ll quit one of your first big job opportunities just two days into the job. At the time it’ll scare you shitless and you’ll completely second guess yourself, but every time you look back you’ll thank god you did it.
You’ll realise that money is an issue no matter how much of it you have.
And just because you have more doesn’t mean you’ll be wealthier, not if you can’t manage it. Not all debt is bad, but at the same time an ‘emergency’ credit card is best kept very far away and very, very high up out of reach.
You probably won’t have a house at 23 like your parents (shoutout to the absolutely positively laughable Wellington housing market).
But, as with other things, you’ll learn not to look sideways at what everyone else is doing. You made your decision to live there and, for now, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Wisdom beyond your years is one thing, but nothing compares to life experience. Just because you’re wise enough to see it coming, doesn’t mean you need to be wise enough to avoid it. You’re absolutely entitled to as many f*ck ups as the next person. So make the most of it.
Lastly, on a lighter note, the best nights out will always be the unexpected ones.
Case in point - on one spontaneous midweek occasion you won’t make it to bed until 6am, only to attend your office job at 10am that same day. This will be a huge error in judgement. Although you’ll be lauded for your efforts, it will definitely be one of the worst days of your life and you’ll spend a chunk of it in the sick bay fast asleep. The lesson? Know when to call in sick.
In conclusion? Your twenties are a collection of strange, sometimes difficult, yet wonderful years. These days, they’re full of freedom and choice, both too much and not enough at the same time. Questions. So, so, so many questions and not nearly enough definitive answers. A lot of comparison. But in all of this, there is solidarity to be found. We’re all just out here trying to put two and two together, trying to make sense of a world that is equal parts exciting, dull, confusing, wonderful and scary all at the same time.
Until thirty,
Eva.
Comments